Raising Soldiers 4 Christ

Ephesisans 6:10-20

Allowing your children to help

Written By: Laura - May• 19•12

My kids have always helped around the house. When my oldest was not quite 2, my husband was amazed one day when I asked Bookworm to go put his socks away and he did.  He didn’t get them all away correctly but they were in the dresser, each pair in a different drawer :) .  He was quick to be obedient and helpful and tried his best! I believe that part of training our children to someday be an adult, is teaching them how to do life skills that they will use everyday when they get older.  I have all boys so some may say well they don’t need to learn “women’s work” but they do, what if they do not marry? What if their wife falls ill or any numerous other things that could happen. My boys also learn how to do manly chores with Daddy. I know some parents who are so over worked and tired because they do not teach their kids how to work from an early age.  There is a saying, “many hands make light work”. I love this because it is so true. When we all jump in with our chores in this house it doesn’t take long to whip it into shape. So what are some chores that my kids have done over the years…..

1. Bookworm, who is 8, learned early to pick up his own room and put away what laundry he could.  He also could help put away pull ups and groceries and even put away clean dishes from a very early age. I start my kids doing chores once they can walk well.  Bookworm since he is older knows how to cook certain foods, he can make a sandwich, and fix basic meals for not just himself but others in the family.  He can change his brothers pull up if needed and assist in getting him dressed. He can clean pretty well on his own and can help his brothers clean as well. He can even do many deep cleaning chores such as cleaning woodwork, dusting etc. He also knows how to load and unload the dishwasher, take out the trash, and sort and fold laundry and put it away.  He is also a GREAT librarian and helps keep our home school books straight.

2.  Turtle is 5, and can do many chores as well! He is quite the helper and asks all the time if he can help.  He can clean up his room very well, help his little brother clean his, he can dust, he can clean the cabinets well too.  He does a good job with wiping of counters and the table.  He is good at picking up the house and also loves to help unload the dishwasher.  He loves to be right in the middle of a project learning how to do things. He is being taught how to keep the home school books straight and he loves to help cook too.

3.  Nemo is 3 and he can pick things up, clean his room with minimal assistance ( someone does check it though), he can also help put books on the kids bookcase, get and change his own pull up, give the dog treats and food.  He also helps with many other things.

I have heard parents say that they don’t let their kids help because it takes longer, while this may be true you are missing the heart of the training. Many talks about life can be had while doing chores together, also kids are learning by what they are seeing.  How would you feel if every time you asked to help you were told no I will just do it.  Eventually a child will stop asking, stop trying and give up. Then as the child becomes a teen a parent wonders why the child is lazy.

The Bible says train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. I believe this goes hand in hand with their relationship with Christ but I also believe this goes with life skills, if a child is taught to work as a child he will learn to work as an adult.  We are not raising children, we are raising adults!

So parents I urge you while it may take longer to do house work, let your children help. Give them washcloths to fold, while you fold the rest of the laundry, let them put the soap into the washer, let them help you cook.  Your shaping hearts and souls and as they grow up you will not look back and say I regret letting them help because it took to long, you will be so glad you did because they will become what they learn.

Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest. How long will you lie there, you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep?  A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest 11 and poverty will come on you like a bandit and scarcity like an armed man. Proverbs 6:6-11

 

I will leave you with a few pictures of my kiddos helping :)

Bookworm doing the dishes :)

I got up one morning and Bookworm had blessed me by not only cutting out the coupons but organizing them into months they expire :)

Turtle helping Daddy hang a ceiling fan :) ….Daddy does this tool work????

In Christ,

Laura

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New Series….weightloss

Written By: Laura - May• 10•12

In some earlier posts I blogged about going through the “Made to Crave” book, which, by the way, I HIGHLY recommend anyone struggling with their weight to read.  Growing up I did not have a weight problem; as a matter of fact I was skinny! I could eat anything I wanted and not really gain weight. I was really like this until around my senior year of high school when I gained some weight but lost it that summer before college.  Then I gained the freshman 15, the sophomore 15 and so on.  By the time I was about 22, I was around 190. I kept telling myself that I was okay as long as I didn’t go past 200.  When I got close to 200 I started going to Weight Watchers and I lost weight, put it back on, lost weight, put it back on.  Sound familiar?  This continued for years.  I was 27 and weighed about 210 when I had my first child.  I lost quite a bit of weight in my early pregnancy because I could keep nothing down.  What I could keep down, oddly enough, was Mexican food, chips and salsa. I was living in TX at the time and Mexican food was everywhere.  As my pregnancy progressed and I eventually hit half way, my midwife was concerned because I had not gained more pregnancy weight. I was somewhat careful during the pregnancy to not over eat too much and to keep active.  In the end I gained 25 pounds and had lost all of that weight by the time I went for my sons 6 week check up! I felt wonderful about that!!! I kept really active and walked even after he was born and eventually started to the gym hard core. I lost an additional 40 pounds and looked and felt great!!!

In late 2005, I miscarried but my body kept holding on to part of this baby. At this point, I would have been 5 months pregnant so I gained weight as if the baby had not died. In the end, I had to have surgery to remove what was left of my baby.  A month after that surgery, I conceived our middle child and I had not lost weight from the baby who had passed on.  I seemed to want to eat everything during this pregnancy, especially Taco Bell!  I would beg my husband at all hours to run for the border! LOL! I gained about 50 pounds with that pregnancy and, needless to say, the combo of those 2 pregnancies led to a whole lot of weight gain. I was depressed. I wanted it off. I was sure nursing would help like it did with my oldest.  My middle son nursed pretty much ALL the time yet it never did a thing for my weight loss ( could have been all the border runs LOL). I used the excuse that I was nursing so I needed more calories! I kept telling myself I would start walking, exercising, I would do this or I would do that but I never did.  I did finally start back to Weight Watchers and did the nursing mothers program. I finally did get up the nerve to brave the gym again and, between the two, I began to shed those pounds! I was just starting to look better. I wasn’t where I wanted to be yet, but I was starting to feel better about myself. You think you can guess what happened next???? I was pregnant again!!! :)

I started out that pregnancy really wanting to be healthy. The first several months I spent with a horrific headache but I did not throw up as much as previously.  I found it helped to eat more often.  I was still hitting the gym and at halfway I had only gained about 10 pounds, which my Dr felt great about. However, half way through I found out I was high risk. I could not get my heart rate over a certain amount either.  Even walking slowly at the gym got my heart rate too fast so I gave that up and gave up the gym altogether. The pounds and Taco Bell found me once again! By the end of my pregnancy, I was about 282.  That was the highest my weight had ever been. I was mortified and so embarrassed.  I was completely out of shape too. When our son was born, we found out he had a stroke in the womb and with his medical problems we ended back in the hospital for 8 days.  When mom is stressed at the hospital, friends bring food and I ate and ate! We also moved to another state when he was 4 months old and husband deployed again right after we got there. I was dealing with my oldest who was being evaluated for aspergers, my middle child who was a typical 2 year old but still had major sensory issues, then pumping pretty much round the clock for my youngest. It was pretty stressful. There were other stressful factors as well and instead of turning to God, I turned to food. Oh don’t get me wrong.  I LOVED God and still LOVE God, but food was a coping technique.  Wait for hubby to get online, eat a snack, pump for baby, eat a snack…see the pattern?  I was exhausted. My oldest could literally go 3 days without sleep.  Working out just wasn’t going to happen. Eventually, he got past that and we found a way to get him to sleep and we moved to another house on post with better living arrangements and things got much better! I lost a little bit of weight which was not much to write home about, but I was below 280 again!!! I started going to PWOC and did dive more into the word of God which is probably why I was able to maintain below 280; BUT I still wasn’t exercisng.  I had a lot of reasons why I didn’t when I think back.  I just can’t remember any of them! LOL!

When my hubby came home from his deployment, we did start walking every night. Bless his heart, he was trying to encourage me and we really enjoyed walking.  The kids also burned off energy and it was healthy for all of us.  I didn’t shed pounds though because  hubby was home and we needed to eat every place he missed while deployed! LOL!  So I just kept maintaining.  Eventually, I did start to diet again, yet could not shed pounds. I would go up and down and up and down like a yo-yo. We moved again to another state and a friend of mine mentioned WLS (weight loss surgery).  She had the sleeve done. After speeking with her, I did research on it and thought this could REALLY be what helps me. I didn’t want a quick fix but a tool that would help me for life!!! So I started the process and we were supposed to come down on orders again, so I kept telling myself if it was meant to be, God would open all the doors and, if not, He would close all doors. EVERY door opened and quickly! I got over 6 months of appointments and tests done in less then 3 months.  I also got my surgery date really fast too!

Having the sleeve has changed my life in so many ways.  During this series of blog posts, I will share more of my story about having the sleeve, advice on weight loss, and what I have on hand on my kitchen at all times. I will also share some of how I have learned more than anything, and the most important outcome of ALL of this, I was made to Crave…made to Crave God not food.

 

In Christ,

Laura

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Tuesday School and File Folder Activity

Written By: Laura - Apr• 25•12

Today was a great day. On Tuesdays I go to a Bible study at our church and the kids have home school classes during the same time. They love it!!! This morning Bookworm went to the nursing home with his class and the whole class said scripture for the folks there, they sang songs and kids who wanted to played music. Some kids played the Violin and others played the piano.  My Bookworm played his favorite song, “The Woodpecker Song” by Buddy Davis this morning on the piano! I am very proud of him, so thankful that he could be a blessing to others!!!

This afternoon after we came home we did some school and the older 2 did a great job.  I honestly cannot tell you what a blessing it is to be able to teach my kids.  They are learning and growing every day and I am just thrilled to be able to see it! The most important thing is watching them grow into boys with such a heart for Christ.

Today one project we worked on was File Folder games. You can do File Folder games for just about any age.  My 5 year old had an activity and so did my 8 year old. Some of the pros of doing File Folder games are:

1. They are really cheap! All I did was print off the activities and then gave each child scissors, glue stick, and the folder!

2. They do not take a lot of room to store

3. They can be adapted for just about any age and the child can use MANY different skills in one project :)

4.  Kids on the spectrum can really benefit from the file folder games. Kids on the spectrum tend to be very visual thinkers. File folder activities provide structure and allow repeated practice skills on skills and concepts.

 

Here are some pictures from today :)

 

In the above picture Bookworm is cutting out his Math to use for a File Folder Activity.  If you haven’t done File Folder Activities this is a nice break from routine Math or any subject, it makes it fun and gives you a break from “bookwork”.  I like doing things like this to keep the kids yearning for learning :) .

Bookworm is helping cut out the smaller pictures for his brothers File Folder Activity.

Both boys are working hard!

Turtle working hard on his cutting skills!

Turtle and his finished folder :)

File Folder Matching…this project worked on many skills in one! Such a great fun activity!

I hope everyone is having a blessed week in the Lord, take time to find the blessings everyday!!! God is so good!!

In Christ,

Laura

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Autism and God

Written By: Laura - Apr• 14•12

Recently I was reading a blog post and it  was talking about how God had NO part of Autism, it was pretty negative. However what made me even more sad was the comments of how others viewed Autism and their kids on the spectrum, I wanted to comment but I also did not want to argue Gods word AND tecnically this blogger DOES have the right to their opinion. I decided it was best to make my own blog post on my thoughts and Gods word on the subject, it also applies to not just Autism but any trial that we face.

I have two children on the Autism Spectrum,. My oldest, Bookworm, has Aspergers Syndrome and ADHD.  My middle child, Turtle, has PDD-NOS and ADD.  I remember, back when my oldest was being evaluated for aspergers, a Dr had me in their office and asked me “What exactly is it about your child that you want to change?”  That question had really taken me back because every time we went to the Dr’s I told them, “I just want to learn how to parent this child.”  How do I change ME to parent him?  I had no thoughts ever of changing my child. YES there were behaviors that I would like to change and there were reactions I would like to change, but I truly believe that God does not make mistakes. Let me repeat that again. I believe that God does NOT make mistakes. WAIT you might say….”What about Autism, or Diabetes or this disorder or that disease?  How could it be from God?  How does anyone know that God does not make mistakes?”

The way to know this is to dive into His word. God’s word does not change because of our circumstances, it doesn’t change with the times, it does not change because our children have Autism, or whatever else the case may be. We cannot look at scripture and say “well true that is what it says, except you do not live in my house. So how can THOSE behaviors be from God?”  Well, how can they not be?

God’s word says

“Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised; and His greatness is unsearchable”  Psalm 145:3 It is pretty obvious that this scripture cannot be made if God COULD make a mistake.

“Great is our Lord, and of great power: His understanding is infinite. Psalm 147:5 Anyone capable of making mistakes would be finite and not infinite as God is.  God is not like man who makes mistakes.

God is light, and in Him is no darkness at all” 1 John 1:5b

I can tell you from personal experience that there are days that living with Autism that is just plain hard!!! There have been days that I have locked the bathroom door for 5 minutes and cried and prayed to God, “Lord I do not know how to parent this child” or these children depending on if it was one or 2 on the spectrum that was causing the issues at the time. I have begged God to please show me what to do and how to reach them.  There have been more times then I would like to admit that I truly had no idea what to do or how to go forward or what would help. SO I just had to pray through each step of the way and pray that at bedtime, perhaps that night, I would get some rest. When my oldest was going through his worst time with the Aspergers, my husband was deployed.  I was taking care of him, his younger brother who was 2 at the time and already had major sensory issues, and also nursing and taking care of our youngest who was a baby.  There were days I was jealous of my husband being deployed :) .

Then we had that Dr’s appointment where I was asked what I wanted to change about my son. I couldn’t believe it.  My God does not make mistakes.  For every bad behavior my child had, God had made him that way.  For every struggle he had, God had made him that way.  I came across a few verses that really smacked me in the face during this time and affirmed that my God does not make mistakes…even with Autism.

“Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.”  Psalm 127:3-5

That verse does not say that children are a heritage UNLESS they have Autism.  ALL children – even children who have Autism – are blessings from the Lord!

“Train a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not turn from it.”  Proverbs 22:6

See it wasn’t that my child needed to change, I needed to figure out how to train him, how to reach him and how to equip him to reach his FULL potential.  The issues my children have are gifts from God and, if they are used properly, they can be used to win people to the Kingdom of Heaven.  YES!!! Even children can be missionaries for Gods Kingdom…YES!!! Even children with Aspergers, PDD-NOS, and Autism.  My oldest has a HUGE gift – he can memorize scripture like you would not believe.  There have been times we have been out and I have been like “BOOKWORM. What was that scripture?”, and he will rattle it off!!! God will use his memory and can use his memory for his Kingdom!!! Turtle, my child with PDD-NOS, is not as fast about memorizing but when he learns something he does not forget and he has such a compassionate heart and a heart to serve. GOD WILL use those gifts for His glory!!! I just had to figure out how to teach, train and equip!  The Bible says “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these” -  Mark 10:14.  The scriptures do not make exceptions for children who have Autism, or Diabetes, or Cancer or anything else. Let the little children come to me and DO NOT HINDER them.  WOW!!! That was so powerful to me…. so VERY powerful!!!

So I know you may be  saying “BUT YOU DO NOT LIVE IN MY HOUSE. How can I teach my child, train my child, and equip my child when he is having tantrums, when he seems unreachable, when I just feel like I cannot go on.”

In the book of James it speaks about trials.  Being a Christian does not exempt us from life’s trials. Some people face financial trials, some face untimely deaths in their families of members who seem seem too young to leave this earth, some face cancer in young children or mothers or fathers, some face Autism. Unfortunately, we do not get to always pick the trials we face but we can pick how we react to these trials.  I know it is easier said then done, TRUST ME…there are days I wanted to curl into that ball and lay there with the covers over my head and hope when I got up that this trial, the trial of Autism, would be gone and life would go on perfectly! Then James got me.  There are many who face problems each day and some are far worse then the very worst day in my home.  The trials I face are used to draw me closer to the Lord.  Let me say that again…the trials I face are used to draw me closer to the Lord. WHAT!!! How can that be?  Here are a few verses from James….

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,  because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4

Remember me talking about my bathroom prayers? In verse 5 it says “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.”

How do we get wisdom from him? We are to ask . But wait a minute—it’s got to be more complicated than that! That’s so simple that it goes against the grain of our humanity. It’s got to depend more on us and it’s got to be about using  our own strength and ingenuity to figure things out. We want to be able to do it on our own. But the truth of it is , the first step toward wisdom, God’s perspective, is the admission that we need his wisdom. Proverbs 9:10: “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom….” This doesn’t mean that we never experience confusion. But God says, “If you lack wisdom, ask, and I’ll give it to you, freely and without reproach.” He won’t say, “You idiot, what took you so long?” or, “Who are you to ask?” We underestimate the grace of God in our lives.

The means of getting wisdom is to ask for it, and the key to asking for it is faith.

Verses 6-8:

“But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.”

To believe in this context means trusting that God’s perspective is the right one. The word doubt suggests the idea of hesitating and second-guessing. For example, let’s say I approach something difficult in life and begin to think it through God’s way, but then when I come right down to it I think, “God’s way can’t be right in this instance. It doesn’t make sense to me! Surely it would be better if things went this other way.” I call into question whether following God is really worth it. There comes a point when we have to ask, “Do I trust God, or my own ingenuity?” That moment of equivocation before we decide whether or not we are going to sell out to God’s perspective, is the crux of this whole matter. We must be able to say, “God, I will trust you even when it seems foolish in the eyes of the world, and in my own eyes right now. I will trust that your ways are right.” Even on those days when the behavior is the worst, when we feel like giving up, and when we just cannot seem to find a way to reach, teach and equip.

James says the one who doubts becomes double-minded , a person of divided loyalties who wants to follow God, but wants to hang on to his own agenda as well. Double-minded people are always bouncing back and forth. God is saying to us, “If you will trust me, I will give you the wisdom to help you walk through this. If you don’t, you will become someone who is unstable in all your ways.”

Paul talks of another kind of trial he faced as a missionary. He describes it as “a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.” (2 Corinthians 12:7 NIV) This is no tiny problem—this was a big time hassle. He even attributes it to Satan.

So what does Paul do? This mighty man of God prays—“Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.” (2 Corinthians 12:8 NIV) Paul’s first, second, and third response to this problem was to cry out to God—“take it away!” His first three responses were not to thank God for the problem. He did not rebuke the devil. He didn’t claim his deliverance. Sometimes claiming deliverance is really a form of denying reality. Paul pleads with God for deliverance. God answers Paul—“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV) No miraculous deliverance came from God—the problem stayed in Paul’s life. Paul discovered the same truth James talks about, “You’ve got to face this problem, and God’s faith—His power—is available to you.” The revelation from God to Paul contains an awesome promise—“My power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV) God’s great power is available to help us deal “perfectly” with whatever test comes our way—especially when we are weak. So how does Paul respond to God’s answer of “No,” when pleading for God to take away this problem? Does he get angry at God? Paul says, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:9b-10 NIV)

Paul’s response shows that he chose to be happy even when the trial remained in his life. He now chose to delight in his weaknesses—why? Because that’s when God’s power can become perfect in him.

Paul’s joy is not based on problems—his focus is to delight on how God’s power can work in his life. The joy comes not in seeing the problem go away, the joy comes in seeing God’s power at work in his life.

This problem stayed in Paul’s life—perhaps for years! Which brings us to the next part of James’ explanation of the path to joy—“the testing of your faith develops perseverance.” (James 1:3b NIV) We don’t need perseverance for the quick solution. We need perseverance for the long haul—for the problems that just don’t go away. This is what we face with Autism. It isn’t just going to go away.  We are not going to wake up one morning and it all be better or our child no longer have Autism.  However,  Both Paul and James have the answer for you. God’s faith—God’s power—is available to see you through. That’s what  perseverance is all about! Many Christians don’t want to hear this, but God’s word clearly states it—some problems are here to stay for a long time.  God’s awesome power is available to help us face the long term problem situations, not just for instant miracles. God’s power is available to help us develop perseverance as we face trials every day.

So how do you find the joy and blessings in Autism? How do you find the gift of Autism?  For me, what I started with was everyday I found ways to offer more praise to my kids.  EVEN if it was the worst day every I made a chart to MAKE myself find things to praise them about and held myself accountable.  It may be something small like “oh you flushed when you went to the potty” but my kids needed to not just know I loved them and for me to tell them I believed in them, they needed me to SHOW them.  Before long I didn’t need the chart anymore. The more I praised my kids, the more joy I felt inside, the more blessings I found each day, the more Autism taught me.

It’s easy to tell someone else, “You should consider it pure joy when you face trials. God will help you!” But to move into this place of pure joy yourself—when you are living with a problem—this can be very tough! So how can you possess this “pure joy” when you are living with a major problem? You may have to do some tough self-talk. Paul talked about his struggle—“I take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:5) You may have to do serious battle with your thoughts and emotions. Begin by standing on God’s truth, and keep His truth close to your heart. “I’m going to claim this promise of God for me today.” You may not feel joy as you face this Autism or whatever the problem is—so fight to take hold of that joy! You’ve got to fix your eyes on Jesus and stand in His truth.

One strategy that may help you is to write down the problem if it is Autism or the many problems we parents of children on the spectrum face, write them down as you are facing and them and  write how you will respond to this problem today. For example, “As I go through this day, and face this problem, I will quote James 1:2-4.” Or find another verse that speaks directly to the problem in your life.You can make a list of the specific lessons God is teaching you through this problem. “I will look for God’s power to respond in His way to this problem.” For example things I have been taught through Autism are compassion, acceptance, and patience.  There are more but that is another post!  You can set as your goal, “I will do God’s will today in spite of this problem in my life.” Don’t let this problem rob you of the joy of completing what God wants you to do today. Is it to find a therapist who can come into your home and equip you as a parent with how to teach, reach and equip your child? Is it to get that diagnosis? Is it just to get dressed that day and hopefully a load of laundry done. At the end of the day, look for those “seconds of joy” you experienced today. Then look for the “minutes of joy” you experienced—then the hours of joy. Tomorrow the battle to experience pure joy may have to start again ( it did with me for a while and then I didn’t have to follow these steps anymore!!! ) with seizing “seconds of joy” before you find the “minutes” and “hours” of joy. But if you pursue God’s way of responding to each situation that you face today, you can possess this “pure joy” and accomplish all that God has for you to do today.

The “pure joy” should not be our goal. This joy is the benefit of facing each problem with God’s help, and responding the way He wants us to.If guilt, anger, sadness, depression, hopelessness or other negative emotions and attitudes seem to overwhelm you, it’s time to stand up and fight. Not the other people causing the problem—but fight your attitudes and emotions. “I refuse to allow these negative feelings to dominate me.” Instead, you can choose to fix your eyes on Jesus and seize hold of His peace and joy, and walk in obedience to Him. Every day you may need to do a major “housing cleaning” of your thoughts. The old negative thoughts may return every day—but you can choose to stand on God’s truth. Or you can go with the old familiar paths—back to anger, fear, frustration, etc. Joshua in the Old Testament threw down a challenge to his people—“choose today whom you will serve. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Pure joy is the hidden reward that comes with each problem. And with these problems comes the path to maturity. James offers more benefits as we face our problems—over the long haul. “Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (James 1:4 NIV)

We all want to be “mature and complete.” But God, just give me your blessing! Let this be my path to spiritual maturity!

But God’s word is clear—the path to maturity is learning how to face our problems with His power. God promises He will never leave us or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6 and Hebrews 13:5)

Our own decisions have taken us down paths filled with all kinds of problems. God’s solution requires us to do more than face our problems. He also calls us to be His disciples—to follow Him. Some of our problems are the result of failing to follow Him. Paul discovered the secret of joy in his life—learning to let God’s power work through him in his times of weakness. Pure joy is yours if you will simply reach out and take it—with the “strings” God attaches—face trials of many kinds, and use His power to deal with them.

Don’t try to short cut your problems, face them. Don’t try to blame God for Autism or say he has no part in it.  God can and will use ALL things even Autism for his glory!!! And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose Romans 8:28. REflect on King David and what he writes in that most familiar Psalm 23—“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” (Psalm 23:4 NIV) David sees the path taking him through the valley, not discovering a short-cut around it. We can have the same confidence that David had as we walk through our dark valleys, so close to death’s door we see its shadow. This verse is a great help on those bad days and even on those good days!! God promises JOY to those who face their problems.  Jesus often faced criticism and problems from people who hated him. His solution was not to force others to change. His solution was to respond the way God wanted Him to respond no matter how others responded.

So today whatever your facing how will you handle it? Will you try to find a way around it? Will you blame God and become angry with him or woll you praise him in the storm? Make no mistakes friend that God loves you, God loves your children and he wants only the best for them.  Is Autism and being on the spectrum a struggle? YES!!! It is hard not only for the parents but also on the kids, however I think most kids handle it much better then the parents do.  I can tell you in our family that my kids have made leaps and bounds progress, you would probably not guess by meeting them they are even on the spectrum, until they have a bad day.  Therapy and Gods grace have helped us to get to this point. I praise God in this storm and I am thankful for Autism, YES I am thankful for Autism. It has taught me many things. It has taught me to cling to the Lord in the worst circumstances and to praise God in all the storms of life. It has taught me to cling to the scriptures in the book of James that this trial, this circumstance is being used to draw me and my children closer to the Lord. I have 2 choices I can blame God and throw a fit and get angry or I can praise him, find the God and joy in ALL circumstances and thank him for this trial.  I believe in my heart that God will use my children for HIS glory, I can already see the fruits in that as my oldest writes in his journal that his best friend is Jesus, I can see it in my middle child as he tells his younger brother his scriptures he has learned and I can see it in my younger child as he walks around saying GOD IS LOVE. YES beloved child he IS love.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Until next time find the JOY, find the BLESSINGS!!!

In Christ,

Laura

Praise you in this storm

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Autism Awareness Month…TV, the Christian and Aspergers

Written By: Laura - Apr• 06•12

While the idea of TV watching is sometimes very controversial amongst Christians, I would like to share some thoughts based on both a Christian take and a Mom who has 2 children on the Spectrum.

Before my oldest was born I thought I had this parenting thing figured out LOL. You know how you would see kids doing X Y or Z and you would think my kids will NEVER do that. :)   Doesn’t God have a great sense of humor? LOL  When Bookworm was born he did not show signs of Autism, in fact he really didn’t until he was 14 months old. Around 16 months or so he became interested in this Elmo video, before I had kids I had said they would NOT watch TV until they were over 2 and then it would only be for 30 minutes per day and that was it!!!! Well I had this video and it was one of those days where you as a mom were just worn down, so I wanted to eat and I put him in his high chair that I had pulled out into the living room and gave him a snack and played this video.  He LOVED it.  It was almost an hour long but he begged for me to play it again, so I did ( remember my 30 minute time limit and only after age 2 LOL).  He just loved this movie so much that it soon became his routine each evening to watch it. So every night while I tried to eat we watched this movie.  I was relieved that he was interested in it and it was just a really good show for him, something about that furry red monster just sucked him right in!!!

When Bookworm was almost 2 we moved to another state because of hubby’s work and Elmo was on each morning.  We finally got passed watching the SAME movie over and over and he would get so excited when the show came on and he would dance and dance to “Elmo’s World”.  I loved watching his chubby cheeks dancing to this song!!! As the aspergers signs seemed to be there more and more, he he became hooked at 2 with Thomas the Train, as soon as he got his first train! It was honestly love at first PEEP PEEP!!! :)   It was Thomas Thomas Thomas.  I think we watched Percy gets Chocolate probably at least a thousand times if not more the year he was 2 and then it continued to 3.  He was obsessed with all things Thomas ( but HEY it got him potty trained!!! ). I wished at times we had stock in the Thomas Company, those trains are so expensive but we later found out from a few links I will post in a minute why Thomas is so loved by kids on the spectrum  Thomas still holds a special place in Bookworms heart!!!

Links on Thomas and Autism….

http://www.myfavoritetoys.com/autism_thomas.html

http://articles.cnn.com/2009-05-27/health/autism.thomas.engine_1_autistic-children-autistic-kids-developmental-disorder?_s=PM:HEALTH

http://autism.about.com/b/2007/08/02/thomas-tank-engineautism-connection-is-it-for-real-whats-the-attraction.htm

During the Thomas time period we took my son and my nephew to see Cars, the first one.  Bookworm soon became obsessed with Car Cars as he called them. He really didn’t play with the cars but he had to have them all and would carry them with him, he still has this collection too! He never gave up Thomas during the cars phase, he just loved them both. Could tell you all the cars names and knew all about them just like he could with Thomas the Trains.

For a very long time those 2 things were really the things that he loved most. He had other toys but those were his heart. They spoke to him more then anything else and so did the shows. So Why did I change my stance and allow my son to watch TV and shows when I said no? Well for one the decision I made to NOT allow him to watch was not one made in prayer. It also for our family was not realistic. My husband and I spoke about it and with prayer we made some decisions that we felt were great for our family and allowed Bookworm to watch some TV but we ALWAYS set our guide to what we allow in our house to Phil 4:8.  For instance, Sponge Bob is NOT allowed in our house and many other shows we say no to.  We are pretty picky with it and we DO set time limits.  God has used TV to really help our kids out with the struggles. Bookworm was the only one on the Spectrum until Turtle’s diagnosis. We try to use the TV as a teaching tool as well.  Watching Thomas has really helped my kids out in MANY areas that they have struggled with. One of the best examples is while Bookworm is now 8 he still loves Thomas, Turtle is 5 and he loves Thomas too, Nemo the baby is 3 and he loves Thomas. One of the things my oldest has struggled with most is play skills, he has came a LONG way but one HUGE struggle with the play skills was playing with his brothers, he would rather be alone. HOWEVER, Bubby (Bookworm) is a VERY skilled builder, Turtle and Nemo have the imagination skills SO Thomas has encouraged my kids to play together!!! This is HUGE!!!! The first day it happened I cried, tears of joy praising God for Thomas the Train and YES even for the TV ( for if it is used right it can be a tool and not the devil).  Test everything. Hold on to the good. 1 Thessalonians 5:21.

Other ways the TV has helped us, Bookworm has a hard time showing Emotion.  You could cut your hand off and he may go on and on about what was on his mind and not even notice you bleeding.  With TV being used in just the right way, he has grown leaps and bounds. Before we moved from MD he watched 101 Dalmatians, I looked over at him and he was crying HUGE tears when the dogs were taken. This was HUGE too!!! HUGE!!! He just doesn’t do that!!! Then when he saw me looking he tried to hide he was crying!!!! This was also HUGE as he doesn’t usually get embarrassed…at…all.  Today we watched Passion of the Christ and a story that he could recite word for word, a story he has heard MANY times and read MANY times today he saw it.  Watching the movie I could tell, he felt the blows that were given to Jesus, he felt the pain of his Savior being hung on that cross. He felt.  Thank you Jesus for allowing my son to not just have the words, but to now with his heart REALLY get it.

Before Jesus was crucified, he prayed for his disciples. He prayed that as they lived in the world, they would not become part of the world. He wanted them to add the gifts he had given them to the world  but he did not want them to become stained by the world. He wanted them to remain the person God made them to be. He wanted them to know his love and to share that love with others. This prayer is for us too. Jesus said that just as his Father sent him into the world, he has sent us into the world. We must live in this world, but Jesus has called us to be separate. Jesus wants us to be separate from the world. So we try to live by this in our house. We do not watch many shows that are popular, because they do not bring Glory to God. They do not follow Philippians 4:8 which says Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Our kids DO watch TV shows that will teach or educate or that we think will help them in one area or another but we also wish to glorify our Lord and Savior in what we do.

The TV is not the devil.  The TV only has as much control as we allow it to have.

In Christ,

Laura

 

Perfect Love ( Mary’s Song)

New Again with Brad Paisley and Sara Evans

Posted in Aspergers, Autism, Bible, Easter, Family, Military, Thomas the Train, TV, Uncategorized , , , , , , , | No Comments »

Reflecting on Christ….Holy Week

Written By: Laura - Mar• 30•12

Taken from the PWOC International Facebook…..

How will you spend this last week before Resurrection Sunday? Think on the things Jesus Christ did between the time He rode into Jerusalem on a donkey and the people praised Him – to when He interacted with people preparing for Passover and overturned the money tables – to when He taught in parables – to when He gathered His friends and shared with them about Himself through bread and wine – to when He gave up His life for you in obedience to the Father and conquered death for His people. We’ll share verses from Scripture each day to help you on your Passion Week journey.

Day 1. Friday ( I will be adding these as they post more )Arrival in Bethany, FRIDAY. John 12:1. Jesus arrived in Bethany six days before the Passover to spend some time with his friends, Mary, Martha and Lazarus. While here, Mary anointed his feet with costly perfume as an act of humility. This tender expression indicated Mary’s devotion to Jesus and to her willingness to serve him.

Day 2. Sabbath – Day of rest – SATURDAY “Since the next day was the Sabbath, the Lord spent his day in traditional fashion with his friends.”

Day 3.  The Triumphal Entry – SUNDAY. Matthew 21:1-11; Mark 11:1-11; Luke 19:28-44; John 12:12-19. “On the first day of the week, Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a donkey, fulfilling an ancient prophecy (Zech. 9:9). The crowd welcomed him with “Hosanna” and the words of Psalm 118:25-26, thus ascribing to him a Messianic title as the agent of the Lord, the coming King of Israel.

Day 4. Clearing of the Temple – MONDAY. Matthew 21:10-17; Mark 11:15-18; Luke 19:45-48. “The next day he returned to the temple and found the court of the Gentiles full of traders and money changers making a large profit as they gave out Jewish coins in exchange for “pagan” money. Jesus drove them out and overturned their tables.”

Day ‎5. Day of controversy and parables – TUESDAY. Matthew 21:23-24:51; Mark 11:27-13:37; Luke 20:1-21:36. “In Jerusalem: Jesus evaded the traps set by the priests. On the Mount of Olives Overlooking Jerusalem: He taught in parables and warned the people against the Pharisees. He predicted the destruction of Herod’s great temple and told his disciples about the future events, including his own return.

Day 6. Day of rest – WEDNESDAY. “The Scriptures do not mention this day, but the counting of the days (Mark 14:1; John 12:1) seems to indicate that there was another day concerning which the Gospels record nothing.”

Day ‎7. Passover / Last Supper – THURSDAY. Matthew 26:17-30; Mark 14:12-26; Luke 22:7-23; John 13:1-30. “In an upper room Jesus prepared both himself and his disciles for his death. He gave the Passover meal a new meaning. The loaf of bread and cup of wine represented his body soon to be sacrificed and his blood soon to be shed. And so he instituted the “Lord’s Supper.” After singing a hymn they went to the Garden of Gethsemane, where Jesus prayed in agony, knowing what lay ahead for him”

Day 8. Crucifixion – FRIDAY. Matthew 27:1-66; Mark 15:1-47; Luke 22:66-23:56; John 18:28-19:37. “Following betrayal, arrest, desertion, false trials, denial, condemnation, beatings and mockery, Jesus was required to carry his cross to “The Place of the Skull,” where he was crucified with two other prisoners.”

Day 9. In the tomb. “Jesus’ body was placed in the tomb before 6:00 P.M. Friday night, when the Sabbath began and all work stopped, and it lay in the tomb throughout the Sabbath.”

Day 10. Resurrection – SUNDAY. Matthew 28:1-13; Mark 16:1-20; Luke 24:1-49; John 20:1-31. “Early in the morning, women went to the tomb and found that the stone closing the tomb’s entrance had been rolled back. An angel told them Jesus was alive and gave them a message. Jesus appeared to Mary Magdelene in the garden, to Peter, to two disciples on the road to Emmaus, and later that day to all the disciples but Thomas. His resurrection was established as a fact.”

For us this week will be a reflection of Christ, his death on the Cross and him raising from the dead.  We will do several activities.

Here are a few….

1.  We will read several Easter Story books as well as the selections from the Bible. SOme of our list inclues The Week Jesus Died, Parable of the Lilly, Humphrey’s First Palm Sunday and many others.

2.  We will be using our Resurrection Eggs to tell the Story. You can make these homemade or buy them at the Christian bookstore or online.

3.  We will also color Easter Eggs and read the book The Legend of the Easter Egg

4.  We will make an Empty Tomb Garden

 

5.  We also have some great DVDs that share the Easter Story that we will watch, this year I watched The Passion of the Christ with my oldest and NEST family entertainment has a wonderful video for younger kids.

6.  We will also attend services on Good Friday as well as on Easter Sunday

On Easter Sunday we will not have a visit from the Easter Bunny but we do give the kids baskets with goodies from mom and dad. In the baskets we will include Jelly Beans with the Jelly Bean Prayer in it.  Here is a wonderful link with a download you can use to print off copies :) . http://www.mamajennblogs.com/2010/03/jelly-bean-prayer.html

What are some ways you plan to Reflect on the death of our Lord and Savior over the week leading to Resurrection Sunday?

I leave you with this video, it is so moving! How Love Wins

 

In Christ,

Laura

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Leaving Maryland to start our Trip Out West

Written By: Laura - Mar• 28•12

I have been meaning to make this post for a few weeks now but getting settled has taken up much of my time.  So let me start at the beginning :)

We left Fort Meade Maryland to travel to Washington, my husband was getting assigned out here for his job. PCSing always has so many emotions for me, saying “see ya later” to a place we have laid down roots and have grown to love, the adventure of moving, the stress of the move….so many emotions! Our whole family really enjoyed the time we had in the DC area, I can say it was probably one of our favorite assignments.  Some of the highlights there were being so close to the Smithsonion, the church we found, getting to go to the White House Easter Egg Roll, going to the football game, taking a tour of the White House, my husband getting a very high award, and my husband meeting Senator Joe Manchin, and many others!!! Those memories among so many more we will always hold dear. Seeing the kids grow and thrive was a huge highlight too and one thing I cannot forget was that was where we got our precious dog Buddy, our family would not be complete without him

 

 

On of the hardest things is the “see ya laters” there are good people there I will always miss.  The picture below was one of the last events we did there, Bookworm got his Cub Scout award.  :)

When the kids and I left Maryland we went to WV to visit my mom for a few weeks first, also Daddy couldn’t sign out yet in Maryland.  The kids were asking everyday when they got to go to Washington.  After my husband got to come join us in WV we set out to OH to visit my in laws and to see the Creation Museum, we just couldn’t head west without another visit there!!! Here are a few pictures of that.

Buddy Davis Sang His WoodPecker Song and Dedicated it to Bookworm!!! That made his day,week, month :) What a blessing God gave us!!!

There will be more pictures I share and more details about our trip as I make blog posts, so stay tuned!!!   For now and growing more and more in learning to Bloom where God has planted me, for that minute, that hour, or that season.

In Christ,

Laura

 

 

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Waiting……

Written By: Laura - Mar• 26•12

Most of us at some point or another will experience the joys of waiting.  As a military wife, we experience that constantly.  Since my husband and I married, here are just some of the things I have waited for:

*Wedding Reception (we eloped so this came later)

*Honeymoon (after the reception…finally! LOL)

*Pictures of the wedding reception (these took forever to get back to us!)

*Waiting on Dr’s appointments, referrals, specialty care

*Waiting AT Dr’s appointments (for those who are military you will understand this is NOTHING like waiting at a civilian Dr office)

*Waiting at the ER…for….HOURS regardless of how sick you or your child is, how many kids you have with you, or if your husband is deployed :) (Ft Bliss ladies will understand this one!)

*Waiting on orders

*Waiting for a change in orders

*Waiting for your spouse to get home for dinner….and this may be the 5th time this week :)

*Waiting on housing

*Waiting for the dreaded Deployment Day to come (otherwise known as D-Day for us wives).  The only thing good about this day is that it makes homecoming one step closer.

*Waiting in line at the Post office, CYS,and pretty much anywhere else with all your kids (could take hours and there is a sign that says no food or drinks HAHA!)

*The pharmacy….that is all I am going to say about that one!

*Waiting for homecoming!!! :)

Waiting, Waiting, Waiting!  Waiting on babies to be born, waiting on phone calls, letters, emails….waiting…waiting…waiting.

Sometimes I like to think about Job when I am especially frustrated with waiting.  I wonder how he would handle all the waiting that is sometimes required for a military wife.  I also like to think about him because I know that no matter how bad things seem RIGHT then, that they cannot be as bad as what Job went through.  So how does a military wife handle all this waiting and STILL keep her sanity?

There are several things that have helped me besides the story of Job.

One is I have realized that it is really impossible for me to get a good start to the day without putting God first.  I need my morning time in the word and time to talk to my Father in Heaven before I get started. If I don’t, the day will be utter chaos and goodness help me if I end up waiting :) .  Patience is not my middle name and one time I prayed for patience and the Lord decided to test me…. I think LOL.

I have memorized a saying that is very popular in the military, “the only thing about the military that doesn’t change, is that things will ALWAYS change”.  I have learned to bloom where I am planted, where God has put my husband or I in that moment is the very spot we were meant to be so I have a couple choices. (1) I can complain, whine, throw a fit or (2) I can bloom where I am planted and enjoy life and what God has given me. I know, I know….waiting is NO fun but we can have an attitude of poor poor me, or we can reflect our love of Christ wherever we are (i.e. the post office, the ER, or waiting for our beloveds to come home).

In my last blog I posted that I memorized Philippians 4:8.  That is really my go to verse. I LOVE that verse so much and it speaks to my soul.  “Finally, brethren (or sisters), whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things”. Philippians 4:8.  Saying that verse over and over in line at the post office does help keep my attitude in check lol.

The latest thing we have waited on was promotion.  Technically, that wait started and was going for many years.  Each year it was becoming harder and harder to get passed by for promotion.  This past year my husband won something of pretty high honor at the post we were stationed at.  When the promotion board met this last time, my husband got picked up! We are so happy and grateful.  One thing that changed was that after last years board met and he got passed by again, we both gave it up to God.  Before that it seemed I was trying to tell God when and how to answer my prayers and my husband’s about this. You know the kind of prayers….”Dear God please let my husband get picked up THIS YEAR” Amen.  :)   Last year, I let it all out to God and laid it on his feet.  In my prayer I surrendered to God’s will, not mine anymore. His time table, not mine. In order to do this I had to totally lay it at his feet and step back. Ladies, God knows what he is doing and we don’t have to tell Him when or how to do His job.  We can ask prayerfully, but in the end we need to accept that His answer may be yes, or no, or not now.  He has our best interest at heart and loves us and He promises in His word to do us good, right? So He wasn’t punishing us for something by not allowing my husband to get picked up when WE/I wanted.  He had a plan; a plan so perfect, yet I didn’t see it before last year.  This past year has been wonderful and I still wanted my husband to get picked up, but I no longer was telling God how to do His job. I had released all the power where it should have been all along — in the hands of my Lord and Savior.  Throughout the year, I didn’t worry or stress. I knew the promotion board was meeting, but we were in the middle of a move and I wasn’t worried about it because we were busy. This is the first year it hasn’t been THE TALK leading up to when the list would be released.  When the list came out, we actually did not even know it was out UNTIL my husband heard talk about it at work.  Little did he know at the time, his name had made the list.  So, was the reason my husband got picked up this time because of what he did to stand out, or because I surrendered to God? I think both. I think my husband should do his best but I needed to surrender.  The Lord does not hear the prayers of the unrighteous.

So wherever you are (the post office, the commissary in a pay day line, the ER, or saying goodbye to your beloved for a very long time), remember first that God loves us, that He promises that He has plans to bring us HOPE and not harm us.  Trust His plan and trust His time.  Wait with a willing, surrendered heart to the Father who loves you more than anything.  Trust His will in your life and, Dear Sisters, bloom where God has you planted for that season, that day, or just that hour.

 

In Christ,

Laura

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Flip Flops, Combat Boots, and stuff…….:)

Written By: Laura - Mar• 19•12

 

I love flip flops. I can honestly say that I feel so comfortable in a nice pair for walking or just lounging around. I love to just slip them on my feet and run errands and run in and out of the house.

My husband usually is in combat boots as a Soldier.  He also wears a lot of boots when he is not in uniform. I think that his feet are so used to the boots that they have just become his comfort.

When we married, I remember my husband’s Grandpa coming to my house to help us move my stuff to where my husband was living.  Since he was already there the Army would not move us, because we were not on his original orders.  His Grandpa about died when he saw all the stuff I had. It really didn’t seem like THAT much stuff to me LOL.  So the next day my husband, Dad, and hubby’s Grandpa loaded stuff up to move to our first place.  I was so excited!!! They moved all day and still didn’t get it all loaded or moved.  My husband’s Grandpa still couldn’t get over how much stuff I had or where was I going to put it ( I was going from a 2 story 3 bedroom house with garage to a tiny townhouse).  Somehow I knew I would make it work.  My mom came up to help unpack and I did what every sensible girl would do…. I rented a garage right there at the complex to put all the stuff that wouldn’t fit into LOL.  In 4 days I had made our house a home.  The source of “stuff” in the garage or what my husband would call “junk” was a sore spot.  I “needed” it all!!! I couldn’t part with any of it.

My husband was/is a minimalist.  I am not.  He wears combat boots. I wear flip flops.  When he packs to go anywhere he can roll his clothes and fit a months worth of stuff into one suitcase. I need a suitcase just for my flip flops :) .  Over the years I have learned many things and married to a Soldier is a life lesson that I truly appreciate.  We are different as night and day sometimes but God still brought us together.  Why?  To complete each other and to fill in the gaps.  After that first townhouse 14 months later we moved again and we did a DITY (do it yourself) move and my husband drug all that “stuff” to the next place and the next garage.  I would go out there and try to sort stuff out and feel so overwhelmed that I would just walk out and close the door. After all if the door is closed it does not exist,  does it? EXCEPT when my husband would bring up the fact that I needed to get rid of the “junk”.  Then I “needed” that “stuff” LOL.  The 3rd move we made we moved to a bigger house with a garage attached…..I could store my “stuff” in an attached garage and not have to leave the house to get anything I “needed”.

By the time we were in our 3rd house we had 2 kids and one on the way.  Little did we know some events that would happen after my youngest birth and it would land my husband with orders for Germany…alone.  We could not go as they could not meet our sons’ needs at that particular place. So we decided to go to our hometown during the 3 long years he would be gone.  My husband refused to move all that “stuff” again.  It was finally time I HAD to go through some of it. We had a yard sale and took BAGS and BAGS to the church to give away and we still had a lot of stuff left.  Little did we know the Lord would work a miracle and orders would be changed for the whole family to Ft Bliss TX instead of Germany!!! I was so happy!!! When we found out that we had housing, it was for a 1300 sq foot house.  That was small, and as they say, you should never go down in size, BUT we didn’t care. I would have lived in a cardboard box if it meant we were together.  So now the new issue was where do we put all this “stuff” lol. Also, I failed to mention that we found out right after signing for our house that hubby would be deploying again….in 3 weeks.  WE worked night and day getting the house ready for him to leave. Getting pictures hung and downsizing and somehow we made it work.  God showed me in that moment after seeing my husband nearly have to leave for Germany for 3 years without his wife or his kids, seeing how God loved us so much and showed us He IS the God of miracles and He cares about our wants and desires.  He showed me that what I needed was NOT stuff; was not a garage full of things I might someday need or use. What is important, first and foremost, is a relationship with our Lord and Savior.  Next it is my husband and my children.  The size of the house did not matter and the stuff in the garage did not matter.  My family is what mattered.  That began a cleansing in me.  The Bible tells us to lay up our treasures in Heaven and not on Earth…where was my treasures?

I have realized over the years that our house will change many times and it has.  Our treasure is not in the house we have. God provides that to us as a shelter just as He promised us that He would.  Our treasure is not in our furniture.  We have scratches marking many moves in our furniture.  It is not in the stuff we have as the Army seems to think that less is more and gives only a certain weight allotment to each family :) .  I have learned that I CAN part with things, as they are just things…they are not eternal treasures and they are not my family.  I have learned to downsize (I am still a work in progress as I still have alot of stuff but I don’t have a garage full of unused stuff)! :) .  I have learned that when I honor my husband and do something that he truly desires that he is not asking me to do it because he wants to torture me, he is asking me to do it because he feels lead that way.  I have also learned that God uses many things to teach us and I am still learning at 35 years of age. God gives us life lessons all the time and we just have to open our hearts to Him. My heart’s desire is to show my husband respect. I fall short many times. How can I respect my husband you may ask? Where do I even begin?

Here are just a few things that I have learned along the way.

1. The most important thing you can do for your husband is to pray for him. Pray for him daily. Pray about his success. well-being, spiritual walk, strength in wisdom and the list goes on and on.  Basically pray for him in everything!

2. Remember that God has put our husbands in a position in leadership.  Did you know that God will lead us through our husbands?

3.  Focus on the positives by making a list of your husband’s qualities that you love and really appreciate.  Focus on those qualities insted of any that may “bother you” and praise him for the good qualities that he does have. Remember that we ALL have failures and to think we do not makes us above Christ.  There is good in everyone, we just have to find it and focus on it. It is our job as a wife to build our husbands up, not tear them down.

4. Ladies, do NOT critize your husband to others. I repeat DO NOT critize your husband to others.  Turn over your cares to your Father in heaven, not facebook, your mother, your sister, and your friends. Always build your husband up to others.  Ladies also remember that those little eyes that live in your house are watching your every move.  Treat your husband as Christ would have you to treat Him…with respect. I know this to be difficult, and believe me, it is hard. Find good things about your husband to say to your children.

5.  Be postive….they say it takes 21 days to make a habit.  Make a new habit of being positve around your husband. Trust me, a good attitude will reap wonderful rewards!!!

6. Make sure you tell your husband how much you love and appreciate him.  Men truly need praise ladies and it is our job to build them up.  If you are struggling, find one thing (just ONE) and focus on that.  Trust me, before you know it blessings will abound because of your praise to your beloved.

7. Respect his likes and dislikes.  For example, if he hates onions don’t make him onions and potatoes…I did this once and it wasn’t pretty LOL.  My husband loves onions now but he didn’t at one time and I was set on making him “learn” to like them. When I stopped trying he started liking them on his own.  It is God’s place to change our husbands and not ours. We should make our house his sanctuary and it should be a place that he loves to come home to.  Ask your husband what he wants for dinner during the week and try to add a few of his ideas into the menu.

8. Memorize Phillipians 4:8.  That honestly was a changing point in our marriage because when I had a negative thought I said that verse and it helped me SO much!!! How can you be negative when God says to find the good in everyone and everything and focus on that?  It makes it really hard….. trust me LOL.

9.  Make sure you show great faith in your husband’s decisions and ability to do things. One thing I have learned is my husband may not do things the way I do them or want them done, but he will do them. One of the best things I learned about my husband is if I make a list he will do pretty much anything on that list without me nagging him or even really asking.  Yep! He is a keeper!!!

10.  Remember that our calling of love and respect is NOT condidtional. Meaning that no matter what your husband’s actions are ladies, we are still responsible for OUR 100 percent.  WE have a duty to our husbands and most important to God to follow His plan for marriage regardless of any actions on our husband’s part.  If we do our part, leave the rest to God.

This flip flop loving girl is madly in love with her Combat boot wearing Soldier and somehow through God, we have both grown together and God has molded us.  My husband doesn’t say as much now when carrying books up and down the stairs as he did many years ago, but I have also learned to love my kindle and that saying good bye to some material things out of respect for my husband helps make the house a happy one.  Thank you God for lessons that you place in our life daily to help us grow in you and to trust in your ways.

In Christ,

Laura

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A lady, A Soldier, and the White Horse that went MIA

Written By: Laura - Feb• 29•12

 

When I first met my husband we would sit up late night after night talking on the phone. Dreaming about a future together and talking about Gods plan for us. I just knew in my heart that this handsome Soldier of mine could not be anymore perfect and that God had placed us together. This was the man I had been praying for since I was 12 years old! We met and dated a very short amount of time and then we eloped. I was sure I couldn’t smile any bigger then the day I married that Soldier of mine! He looked so handsome all decked out in his uniform!!! I was sure nothing could burst that HUGE bubble of love around us!!!

My husband worked the day we married and that whole week prior at the time the job he had was exhausting both mentally and physically. He was so tired the day we married that he feel asleep that night….YES! He feel asleep and all these years later I have to remind him of that once in a while!! LOL :) He felt awful and I cried like a baby!!! Then I soothed my sorrows at Wal-Mart buying a picture frame for our wedding picture taken at the house of the preacher who married us. I think my husband would have done about anything to make up for me being so hurt if it hadn’t been for the fact that I handled him falling asleep so poorly and I yelled at him….yes I yelled and cried more and cried some more. I quoted Ephesians 5 a Chapter out of the Bible that my husband and I loved to talk about in depth prior to the wedding/elopement trying to show him the error of his ways, he after all was supposed to love ME as Christ loved the church right? RIGHT???? LOL Yes I think I am right that verse begins with him loving me as Christ loved the church and ends with that too???? Wait did I miss something in that chapter? SIGH!!! There is NO way I could have been wrong could I have?

We had been married for less then 24 hours at this point…actually it was even less then that because I couldn’t wait till morning I had to loudly go into his 1 bedroom apartment and make enough noise to wake him up….for those who know my husband you know that that is a HARD task, especially with the jobs he has done in the military. I was right to wake him up right? After all why wait till morning to show someone they are wrong after all the Bible says to not let the sun go down on your anger!!! :)
So who was wrong? Was it my husband who worked hard all week and feel asleep or was it the wife who had a fairy tale of what life would be like. You know the story, a lady meets a Soldier, the fall in love and she marries the man of her dreams with him in his uniform and they ride off into the sunset on a white horse…..and when that did not happen the lady throws a temper tantrum the size of Mt Everest!!! So to find out WHO was wrong and who was right we must look at scripture.

Prior to my husband and I getting married, we talked in depth about Ephesians 5. It was something that warmed my heart so much and it still does, to hear my husband read scripture. That makes my heart stop just hearing his voice reading the word of God….nothing like it. I am not sure where I got lost during this process other then maybe as soon as he opened his mouth my heart was busy putter pattering and my mind was on a wedding and I just focused on I am the weaker vessel…he must love me as Christ loved the church but what about my part in this??? What exactly does Ephesians 5 say? Starting at verse 22….
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

The beginning of this does not start with my husbands role….wait….WHAT!!!! You mean it starts with me???? YES!!! Paul addresses women first. We are to submit to our husbands. They are our head as Christ is the head of the church. We are to be to our own husbands in everything. WOW!!! That is strong stuff right there!!! We also cannot just stop with Ephesians….a woman’s role to her husband is addressed in other places throughout the Bible.

Ephesians 5:25 DOES address the husbands and says that the husband is to love their wives as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her. But what if he doesn’t? What if he cannot because he is simply so exhausted that he needs the sleep more then anything else? Does that excuse us?

NO! The reason the woman’s role is addressed and then the mans role is because ladies regardless of what our husbands do, we are still called to do our 100%. Just because my husband fell asleep does that give excuse for my horrible behavior that night? Did I react in a God honoring manner? Did my husband need me to tell him how awful I thought he was for falling asleep and how bad he hurt me, and on and on? Years later when I look back on this, I know there are so many things I could have done different. I could have spent the time in prayer asking God to take away my feelings. No man can meet every need a woman has, that is why having a relationship with Christ is so important! Jesus will never leave you no forsake you! Did he leave me that night? No way, he was probably saddened over my poor choices!!!

Our beloved husbands are human, they will make mistakes, they will let us down, do they hurt our feelings just like we will let them down and hurt them. However if we handle things in a Christ like manner, life goes much smoother! If I had handled things that night in a God honoring way, I would not have said the things to my husband that I did. I could have honored him and respected him by allowing him to get the sleep he needed and spent time with him the next day! Wait….respect…where was that in those verses??? I know….I missed that part too I believe. It is at the end of verse 33 and let the wife see that she respects her husband….OUCH!!!!

In all of that there was no verse that says a husband shall not fall asleep….but oh my sisters it does address my awful behavior!!! God has laid out a beautiful plan for marriage in his word, if only we trust him to lead us. If only we submit to Gods will and direction for our lives and submit to our husbands in all things and allow them to lead, allow them to grow, build them up and not tear them down, and most of all respect them. See I don’t think that was at the end because it was meant to be missed, I think it was at the end because all men crave respect, need respect, and want respect. I think that is one of the most important things a woman can do for her husband.

So to that handsome Soldier who fell asleep….I digress….:) I love you beloved and am so thankful for our love and for you not killing me that night! LOL

 

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